Living Behind The Mask
BY CHI CHAVANU ÀSE
Each day with him was becoming increasingly more difficult. Even food tasted different. There was a grey film that seemed to sit over my eyes. And no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t rub it away. He had put off having kids for another year. Typical. He wasn’t ready to die yet. As soon as I gave birth to multiples, I would kill him.
I had to maintain the facade of a good housewife with a loving husband who took care of me. Meanwhile in the Blessed world, I was one of the most terrifying creatures. My form tripled the size of my husband and my power knew no limits. I had no code. I killed both regs and Blessed alike. My hunger was growing and my husband knew his end was near. He kept claiming he was prolonging things, so he could build a savings for me and the children. Bullshit.
He had gotten comfortable in his human life and wasn’t ready to give it up, but I was suffering. I was supposed to have given birth at least five years ago and my body was changing for not having done so. He knew this. A part of me felt that he hoped I would die first, but that wasn’t going to happen—I would mate with another if I had to.
The hardest part of all was the mask I wore as a reg. I was what people called a “trophy wife.” I was slender with smooth dark skin and locs that went down to the middle of my back. When we attended his work events, he received praise off my presence alone. I cooked, cleaned, and did everything I was supposed to do. I even did all my hunting at night. I was absolutely perfect.
Why won’t he mate with me? Why won’t he uphold his end of the bargain? I felt myself sinking deeper and deeper into a hole. I should be raising my offspring by now, not tending to this fool. It was time for him to die.
Chi Chavanu Ase is a science-fiction/fantasy author who was first introduced to sci-fi by her mother at an early age. Often sent to her room for misbehaving, she would curl up in a blanket with one of her mother’s books which subsequently ignited the spark that would fuel her love for literature. She initially began writing and performing poetry at the age of twelve. Over time, she began to notice how difficult it was to find books that she could associate or identify with the characters, given the lack of representation. Thus, it became her greatest desire that little Black children would see themselves represented in every genre, especially sci-fi. Her first book, Journey to Ghana and Other Stories, focuses entirely on the Black experience. Likewise, it is her desire to continue writing stories and producing literary work that Black people can see themselves represented in. Chi currently resides in California with her fine-ass husband and amazing children.