BY STAFF

We asked Darlene Campos to curate a Spotify playlist for her book, Heaven Isn’t Me and she selected 20 incredible songs featuring R.E.M., The Killers, U2, The Smiths and Mumford & Sons.

“This playlist is complied of songs I listened to on repeat in high school and early college days, but some of them are songs I stumbled upon while writing HEAVEN ISN’T ME. Frightened Rabbit’s song titled “Dead Now” was blasting in the background each time I wrote Elysian’s panic attack scenes.

Each one of these songs inspired Heaven Isn’t Me as a whole, some of them a tad bit more than others. I hope you enjoy these tunes as much as I did while creating this story.”

— Darlene P. Campos

You can listen to the entire soundtrack below or on Spotify.

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Darlene P. Campos earned her MFA in Creative Writing from the University of Texas at El Paso. She also graduated from the University of Houston with a BA in English-Creative Writing and a minor in medicine and Social Studies. She is from Guayaquil, Ecuador, but currently lives in Houston, TX with her husband David and an adorable pet rabbit named Jake. Her website is www.darlenepcampos.com. You can support her work here.

BY DARLENE P. CAMPOS

Mr. Peter Philipps is quite the character. He’s a Holocaust survivor, a retired journalist who worked for The New York Times, Businessweek, and McGraw Hill, as well as a US Army veteran and former volunteer for the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum. He was born in 1931 in Essen, Germany, but was forced to flee his hometown after Hitler came into power. He has lived in Prague, Czechoslovakia, Genoa, Italy, Quito, Ecuador, New York City, and finally Bethesda, Maryland, where he has settled down. When he arrived in the United States in the early 1940s, he didn’t speak a word of English, but he taught himself so well that he eventually became a professional editor (and he’s VERY strict about grammar). We met in person earlier this year and we have been in touch since late 2018 because I stumbled upon his history while doing research for my fourth novel. He creates his fiction with meticulous skills and outstanding brilliance.

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Peter Philipps: So, you’re interviewing me because I made Time Magazine’s Man of the Year, is that right?

Darlene P. Campos: Yes, that’s exactly why.

Excellent. I’m ready for you.

Number 1: Describe your writing style and your preferred genres.  

My writing style is lousy.

 (laughs) That’s not true.

My preferred genre is nonfiction since I was a journalist, but I started writing fiction after I retired. I just never had the time to earlier.

Number 2: What do you like to do when you’re not writing?

I like to read, cook, and I build. I build bookshelves and cabinets and other things. I built the book cabinet and bar combination in my house that takes up a whole wall. I built a cedar closet in my basement and a pantry, too. In my living room, I built two walls of shelves for my books and stereo equipment. Those are the major things I’ve done, but I wouldn’t call myself a good craftsman.

From what I remember about your house, the cabinets and shelves looked fine to me, so give yourself some credit.

You didn’t look closely. But, anyway, I really do enjoy working with my hands.

Number 3: In your opinion, what is the best piece you’ve ever written and why?

Oh, probably my short story titled “In the Time Remaining.” It’s my best piece because everybody likes it.

Number 4: In your opinion, what is the worst piece you’ve ever written and why?

I’m thinking, I’m thinking. I think all my pieces are the worst.

All of them? I wouldn’t say all of them.

I don’t have my book in front of me, it’s upstairs.

I have your book right next to me, let me read you the titles. (reads titles)

Oh, well, I think those are all pretty good.

Told you. What about the articles you wrote during your journalism years? Was there one you hated?

Those were all crap.

All crap?! Really?

There was a series of financial planning articles I wrote for Businessweek. I won a National Press Club journalism award for that.

That means it wasn’t the worst thing you ever wrote then.

Well, no. I guess I don’t have an answer.

Number 5: When did you know that you wanted to be a writer?

About in the 1960s. I have always loved reading and wanted to make a living out of my writing, but I didn’t write any fiction until much later in life. Life interfered with my ambition to become a writer like marriage and children, and I couldn’t afford to quit my day job to write full time. Besides, I didn’t think I had any talent and I don’t.

What makes you think you don’t have any talent?

If I had any talent, I would’ve been successful. Lots of people totally ignored my book. A few people paid me some compliments, but that’s about it. The book never really went anywhere, I think I sold three copies.

From personal experience, I can tell you it’s very tough to be a writer.

Yes, it is. But you are very persistent. I stopped counting rejections when I reached 400 and that’s when I thought, well, maybe I’m not a writer. I also don’t like most stories that are written these days, particularly in the exalted New Yorker magazine.

When you talk about your rejections, do you mean for your book or do you mean something else?

Four hundred rejections for my short stories.

Oh, I see. If it makes you feel better, I’ve received around 600 rejections for my short stories.

(laughs) Wow! You are persistent. If anyone deserves some success, it’s you because of the way you persist and don’t give up.

Number 6: Imagine you’re stranded in a busy city and you don’t have a way to get home—which one of your characters would you call for a ride?

(laughs heartily) They’d all leave me stranded because I’m an old grouch!

There has to be at least one who’d pick you up.

Hmm, Jakob Herz from “In the Time Remaining,” because he’s such a nice guy.

Number 7: You are in dire need of a home repair that you can’t fix yourself, so which one of your characters is coming to your rescue?

What? Who made up these questions?

I did.

(laughs again) You’re a Spitze (German for “great, cool or wild”).

I like fun questions. Nobody likes a boring interview.

Right. Hmm, which character… hmmm, the character from “Lady in Blue.” She’d call a good repairman for me.

She’d probably call [my husband] David.

Hah! I imagine she would.

Number 8: When you are experiencing writer’s block, what do you do to get the inspiration rolling?

Have another drink! Vodka on the rocks, specifically Tito’s Vodka. It sometimes works for me, or I just shut down the computer and take a rest for a day or two.

Number 9: Do you use any real-life experiences in your fiction?

Of course. “Lady in Blue” is based on my neighbor. “Schadenfreude” is based on someone I knew long ago and “Can We Talk” is based on another person I know. “History Lesson” is based on real events, too.

Number 10: If you could have dinner with any writer, living or dead, who would you pick?

Hmm, that’s a good question. I’m looking at my bookshelf. I would say… Winston Churchill, for sure.

Winston Churchill wrote books?

Oh, many books. He’s my hero, I think he’s fascinating. He saved us from being conquered by the Nazis.

Taken in Mainz, Germany where Philipps was stationed in 1955 as part of US Army

Number 11: What is your favorite book and why?

John Galsworthy’s The Forsyte Saga. It’s about a family named Forsyte living in the 1800s and I just get right into it, as if I’m part of it. It speaks to me. Another writer I love is Bernard Malamud. He wrote wonderful short stories and a book called The Fixer. My favorite short story writer is Irwin Shaw.

Number 12: What advice do you have for amateur writers?

To stick the seat of the pants to the seat of the chair.

That’s a funny way to put it.

It’s not original, I didn’t make it up.

Number 13: Do you write in other languages or would you consider it?

Nope. Too difficult.

Number 14: Writers live forever through their works, so which work would you like to be remembered for?

I guess my book.

Not your journalism work?

When you’re a journalist, you write stories every day, but for me, nothing sticks out. I’ve thrown everything away as well.

Number 15: Tell me your best joke.

I don’t have any, I don’t remember jokes.

Number 16: If you could go back in time, would you have started writing fiction sooner?

Yes. I was busy earning a living and raising a family when I was younger. Actually, I originally planned to be an engineer, but I got kicked out of school because I’m very poor at math and physics, so I flunked every single course. I made a poor decision. That’s how I got into journalism and writing. I’m a real dope when it comes to math.

High school senior photo, taken in 1950

Number 17: Who would you say is your biggest inspiration?

Richard Yates, Irwin Shaw, Bernard Malamud, and John Cheever.

Number 18: If you could not write, say, if you were to write something, you’d go to prison, what would you do?

I’d go to prison.

What if you had to share your cell with a serial killer?

(laughs) I’m not afraid of cereal, I have it for breakfast every morning.

See? You have jokes!

That’s the best I could do.

Number 19: What are you working on right now?

I haven’t written in a while, I’ve been very discouraged. I’ve been thinking about writing some autobiographical pieces.

Oh! I’d read that!

You might be the only one who does.

Then you’ve got an audience.

Last question—Number 20: Is there a story that you want to tell but you haven’t written it yet?

Yes, somewhere in my head lurks a story I want to write.

When will you start writing it then?

Before I die, I guess.

Well, that’d be the best time to do it. Those were all the questions I had for you. Did you have fun?

(laughs) I had fun. Let’s stay in touch, Darlene.

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For more information about Peter Philipps, please visit his profile page on the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum’s website here: https://encyclopedia.ushmm.org/content/en/id-card/peter-philipps  

Read “In the Time Remaining” at: https://www.ushmm.org/remember/holocaust-reflections-testimonies/echoes-of-memory/in-the-time-remaining

Read “Garden Music” at: https://www.ushmm.org/remember/holocaust-reflections-testimonies/echoes-of-memory/garden-music 

Read “The Invitation” at: https://www.ushmm.org/remember/holocaust-reflections-testimonies/echoes-of-memory/the-invitation

Darlene P. Campos earned her MFA in Creative Writing from the University of Texas at El Paso. She also graduated from the University of Houston with a BA in English-Creative Writing and a minor in medicine and Social Studies. She is from Guayaquil, Ecuador, but currently lives in Houston, TX with her husband David and an adorable pet rabbit named Jake. Her website is www.darlenepcampos.com. You can support her work here.

BY DARLENE P. CAMPOS

Most writers have day jobs, myself included. Due to a strict work schedule combined with household duties and maintaining a social life, it can seem impossible to find the time to write creatively. When I was writing my second novel, I felt like I would never finish the first draft. However, one day I came across this article and my entire writing life transformed. Since August 2018, I have written three novels ranging between 65,000 and 80,000 words, two picture books, two short stories, and a personal essay. Here’s how you can build your writing production to new levels:

1.     Set a word count and a schedule and stick to it

This tip might seem difficult, but trust me, it gets easier. Simply pick a word count and a schedule. For example, 500 words a day, Monday through Friday. You might be thinking “What if I can’t think of anything to write?”

Image by Colin Behrens from Pixabay

It doesn’t matter! Just write words that come to your mind until you hit your word count. In my old drafts, I have tons of sentences that look like this:

“He opened the door. Purple washing machine television firetruck.”

You will revise later. For now, focus on meeting your word count goal.

2.     Tell people to shut up

Okay, so this one can be hard to do. A lot of people don’t understand that writing is a highly mental process which requires full attention to the draft. It’s tough to write when the people around you are being distractive during your writing time. Let them know, as kindly as possible, of course, that you need personal space to work. Your boundaries deserve to be respected. If you have kids, definitely don’t tell them to shut up! You can always wait until it’s their bedtime and get back to work later.

3.     Use an app on your phone to write when you’re out and about

I personally use the Google Docs app, but there are many others available. What this does in effect is it gives you no excuse NOT to write. Stuck waiting forever at the doctor’s office? Get your phone out and write. Sitting in the car in a long line to pick up the kids? Get your phone out and write. Have five minutes between work meetings? Get your phone out and write. If you have time to scroll through social media, you can use that same amount of time to get some writing done.

Photo: @IAMCONNORRM

4.     Read on your phone

How do you improve your writing? By reading! When you read someone else’s story, you can see how the author builds characters, settings, plot, etc. and when you return to your own writing, you’ll have sharper skills. The Kindle app works best for me, but like with writing apps, there are others as well. Most local libraries have Kindle/eBook services. You can read thousands upon thousands of books on your Kindle app, etc. all for FREE and the book will automatically return on its set due date. No more late fees!

5.     Recharge when you need to

After you’ve reached a point where your writing isn’t making sense or you’re simply drained of ideas, take a break. Go for a walk, watch a movie, listen to music, plant a tree, do whatever makes you happy. You’ll find inspiration during your recharge phase, so don’t ever feel like you have to work nonstop. When you’re refreshed, come back to your draft and watch yourself write amazingly.

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Darlene P. Campos earned her MFA in Creative Writing from the University of Texas at El Paso. She also graduated from the University of Houston with a BA in English-Creative Writing and a minor in medicine and Social Studies. She is from Guayaquil, Ecuador, but currently lives in Houston, TX with her husband David and an adorable pet rabbit named Jake. Her website is www.darlenepcampos.com. You can support her work here.

BY DARLENE P. CAMPOS

In every story, the setting is a background, but with the right set of details, your setting can become memorable. Here are three ways to make sure you’ve got a strong setting for your story to thrive.

1.   Sensory details

Without sensory details, the reader won’t be able to feel the setting. What does your setting look like? Is it a big city with lots of traffic? Is it a rural town with tumbleweeds? What’s a significant smell or sight the place has?

Think of yourself as a tour guide. Pretend you’ve got a client who wants to take a vacation to the setting of your story. You must convince them why this place is important to visit. Are there landmarks? What can they do for fun? Where can they grab a bite for dinner? Once you can answer these questions, then congratulations – you’ve got a solid setting in the works.

Image by Chris Hilbert from Pixabay

Rey Carlos Island in Heaven Isn’t Me is based off Corpus Christi, Texas. I went to Corpus Christi for my honeymoon and all the spots Elysian and her friends visit are based on real spots I visited, especially the USS Defiance. This ship was crafted from the USS Lexington. When I took a tour of this ship, I knew I had to bring it into my next novel.

If you’re having trouble coming up with sensory details for your setting, pay a visit to your favorite store. Take a notebook and describe everything you see like the customers, the color of the floor, the style of the ceiling, the layout, and the uniforms of the employees. Start small, then work towards a larger setting.

2.   Where does your character live?

Once you have your grand setting fashioned, it’s time to narrow in just a little. The reader needs to know where your character lives within the grand setting. Whether your character lives in a mansion or in a one-bedroom apartment, this must be described to better present the character’s world.

Image by David Mark from Pixabay

Imagine your character wants to sell their home and you’re the real estate agent. Picture yourself walking through the home and when you’re got a clear, mental visual, jot down everything you can see inside. Most of all, make sure the home matches your character. If your character is a mechanic, there might be loose tools in the garage. If your character is a teacher, there might be stacks of papers to grade on the kitchen table. If your character is a child, there might be toys on the floor, a ripped backpack on a hook, or a video-game system with tangled cables.

Take a moment to write about your own home. Describe the front door, the flooring, the paint on the walls, etc. Practice only makes your writing stronger.

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3.   Where does your character go to hang out?

Unless your character is a proud hermit, your character is going to leave home at some point in the story. This is when you bring up their second, third, and fourth homes. These places can be familiar like a school or a park or they can be more complex like a strange place your character visits for vacation.

In Behind Mount Rushmore, Nimo and his best friend, John David, ride their bikes everywhere, but their usual stop, all the way from their childhood years to their college days, is Big Bat’s. They always eat a hot dog or burger there and it’s their hangout spot, no matter what. When they’re happy, they go to Big Bat’s. When they’re sad, they go to Big Bat’s. Give your character that hangout spot where they feel safe.

Image by StockSnap from Pixabay

Remember: the hangout spots need to match your character! If your character hates seafood, it wouldn’t make sense for them to constantly visit a seafood café. Ask yourself this: if I were my character and I wanted to meet up with a friend, where would I go? Where do you go to hang out? Aside from your home, where’s your place of comfort? Next time you visit this place, take a few minutes and write about it.

I hope these tips were helpful. Feel free to explore new areas and write about them as well.

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Darlene P. Campos earned her MFA in Creative Writing from the University of Texas at El Paso. She also graduated from the University of Houston with a BA in English-Creative Writing and a minor in medicine and Social Studies. She is from Guayaquil, Ecuador, but currently lives in Houston, TX with her husband David and an adorable pet rabbit named Jake. Her website is www.darlenepcampos.com. You can support her work here.

BY DARLENE P. CAMPOS

Last year, we created a series of in-house interviews called Authors Interviewing Authors, where our roster traded conversations in an attempt to get to know one another as well as provide some intimate insights into the life of a fellow writer. This year, we expanded on our series, aptly renaming it Writers Asking Writers Questions and turned it into a recurring series involving established authors as well as new, unpublished writers.

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Darlene P. Campos: You're an editor, a writer, and a mom. Do you think being a mom has improved your writing and editing skills?

Q. Vergara: Oh, for sure. I’m a huge proponent of experiences that can give your writing depth and I definitely feel like pregnancy and being a mother has given me an abundance of experiences to draw from to strengthen my writing. As for my editing? Kind of. I feel like I’ve become a more efficient editor. Before you have a child, you have an abundance of time. Now I have a fraction of the time I had before to get the same amount, if not more, work done. Having a child definitely taught me better time management in that aspect. Grammatically? I fucking doubt it. I make up so many words, because I have no patience to think of the word I need anymore. It’s creative as fuck, but not a great trait.

Let's talk about your work in progress! Can you describe your protagonist as if he/she/they were on a dating site?

I like witty jokes, a whiskey dry, skin-scorching showers, weed so strong it’ll blow your wig back, and a man who will protect me from others, not protect his heart from me. If you vibe, lemme know. Unsolicited dick pics will get you blocked. Roaming hands will get you stabbed.

Image by Thorsten Frenzel from Pixabay

You and your protagonist are on vacation and you're both famished. Where are you in the world and what kind of food are you two getting?

One of my characters, who will remain nameless (because I never named her), goes to a farmer’s market in her short story. I love farmer’s markets, so I definitely think that would be a thing. Anything fresh and stupid delicious; how can you go wrong with baked goods and fresh fruits and veggies? Answer: you can’t.

Tell me about the setting of your work in progress. Is it based on a real place?

I was greatly influenced by P. Curry’s Caliope of Atalan. Because of Curry’s book, I’ve decided to make a place that loosely resembles Southern California with my own twists. I definitely want to incorporate fantasy elements and not be boxed into certain geographical or factual aspects. I guess that’s the cool part about being an author.

You're driving to a doctor's appointment when suddenly, your car battery dies. Which character, your own or made by someone else, are you calling to come give you a ride?

Mr. Meyer from Heaven Isn’t Me. Whenever Elysian calls Mr. Meyer, he’s always there for her. Dependable, nonjudgmental. But I don’t have to tell you about him, huh? I would definitely try to smoke a joint with him too. You think he’d be down?

If you weren't a writer, what career would you be doing?

Probably hospitality. I’ve worked in hotels before, and for the most part, I loved it. I got my first associates degree in hospitality travel and tourism. Or an inventor. I love using my imagination and creativity to create new ideas. I’ve actually been working on a little something on the side, but there are patents and shit involved, so I gotta keep it hush hush for now.

What is your favorite part of the writing process? Writing? Revising? Editing? Submitting? Pulling out your hair? Selling your soul to the devil, so you can figure out how to better tell your story?

LOL So you’re familiar with the process, I see? I love the orgasm that is flow... when you get that rhythm and everything’s falling into place and your words are steadily skipping out as if it’s prewritten and you’re following your destiny and your only job is to bring it to reality by copying the words out of the air. There are definitely some pieces in my debut that came out so organically, that I was able to embrace my creativity and really develop my talent. It became a spiritual, soulful experience for me and helped me cope with a lot of damage I didn’t want to address. I love the discovery that comes with the process. Shit, meeting the characters... this last editing round, I really embraced editing and my editorial team and I saw my writing improve over night. So apparently, I like the whole shit, I guess.

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What is your favorite book and why?

I don’t know if I can choose one. Every time Vital Narrative publishes a book, it becomes my new favorite. If I had to pick a book that isn’t by one of our authors, Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh would definitely be in my top ten. I felt understood, and at the time I found it , it had been a long time since I even felt heard. I struggle with depression, so being heard helps me cope. I nearly read the whole book standing in front of the shelf.

Do you have a drink or snack of choice while you write?

I always have to have cold water. Since I’m on my computer, I don’t want to grease up my keyboard with food. I normally just like to smoke drugs of the marijuana variety. *hits le bong*

Image by Kira Hoffmann from Pixabay

All authors love their characters, but is there a character you've created who you just can't stand?

I just wrote this whole explanation saying no not really, but then it fucking hit me. In “Migraine Season,” there’s this doctor that is just the utter fucking worst. I would get mad all over again writing his part—even reading it during revisions pissed me off. A similar situation happened to me, so it just revisits all those feelings of frustration all over again.

There's a young writer out there in the world who needs some advice on getting published. What are you going to say?

A: Keep writing. Write until you have a library of work. Write books, poems, screenplays, prose, different styles, themes, points of view.... do it all. So when the time comes, and a publisher wants to sign you or you get an agent, you know how to do the work. You know how to get shit done. You have a track record of getting shit done.

Establish a library, so people have something to fall in love with. Study that shit in school. Get certificates. Anything that you think will help you learn more. GET A FUCKING EDITOR. That’s non-negotiable. Don’t trust people who say you aren’t good. The best writers I know have gotten insulted by other industry professionals. If they make it personal, it isn’t a good critique. Work with people that see your vision. That’s half the work. Writing is a craft. If you freelance, don’t undercharge. Look up starting rate, it’s probably higher than you think. But whatever you do, don’t fucking stop writing.

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Darlene P. Campos earned her MFA in Creative Writing from the University of Texas at El Paso. She also graduated from the University of Houston with a BA in English-Creative Writing and a minor in medicine and Social Studies. She is from Guayaquil, Ecuador, but currently lives in Houston, TX with her husband David and an adorable pet rabbit named Jake. Her website is www.darlenepcampos.com. You can support her work here.

BY DARLENE P. CAMPOS

Characters are probably the most interesting part of any story. It’s true that you need a strong plot in order to tell a good story, but you also need relatable characters to move your plot forward. Here are three strategies I use, which may or may not work for your own style of writing, so feel free to adjust them to meet your needs:

1. Start with a name

This sounds obvious. Of course, a character needs a name. However, a character’s name is an identity. If you’re having trouble picking a name, think of some traits your character has and then use a baby name book or website to find a name which fits their qualities. For example, in Heaven Isn’t Me, I knew there would be a line somewhere in the novel in which my character would say, “Heaven isn’t me,” giving the title away to the reader. Since I knew my main character wouldn’t feel heavenly, I thought it would be wise to give her a heavenly name to show the irony. After research in a thesaurus, I found the word “Elysian.”

Search for your character’s perfect name. Once you’ve got the name down, the rest of creation gets easier.

2. Dialogue

Your character must speak like a real person. They don’t even need to speak with correct grammar if that speech form doesn’t fit them. Have your character use slang, words from foreign languages, and curse words—whatever they would say if they were a real person.

If writing dialogue isn’t your strongest skill, don’t worry. An easy way to fix this is by going out to public places where lots of people gather to talk to one another. Visit a coffee shop, museum, restaurant, etc. and just sit and listen. Eavesdropping isn’t a praised action, but for writing dialogue, eavesdropping is magical. Listen to how people form their sentences. Listen for slang. Are their words formal or informal? Do they have an accent? Do they twitch their lips? Do they take breaths before they speak?

Eavesdrop a few times and then write your own dialogue. You’ll become a dialogue expert very soon.

3. Personality

Besides a strong name and genuine dialogue, your character has to feel like a real, living being to the reader. If the character feels even the slightest bit fake, stereotypical, or one-dimensional, your reader will notice and stop reading the story. The reader is smart—don’t underestimate this!

Think of situations your character might come across, whether you write these scenes or not. How would they react in a medical emergency? A romantic breakup? After losing a loved one? After winning the lottery? If they won the lottery, how would they spend their riches?

If you can’t answer questions like these, your character needs a better personality. One way to shape your character’s personality is to use the personalities of people you know. My characters are a mix of my own personality and the personalities of people I am close to like my friends and relatives (sorry, Mom, your quirks come up A LOT).

If you’re familiar with the show Seinfeld, head writer Larry David based Kramer’s character off his neighbor by the same name.

The real Kramer was nosy, wore flashy clothes, came up with strange ideas and inventions and spoke just like the character on the show. If you’re getting stuck on a personality for your character, observe the people close to you for ideas. I hope these strategies are helpful for you. Now go make a character!

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Darlene P. Campos earned her MFA in Creative Writing from the University of Texas at El Paso. She also graduated from the University of Houston with a BA in English-Creative Writing and a minor in medicine and Social Studies. She is from Guayaquil, Ecuador, but currently lives in Houston, TX with her husband David and an adorable pet rabbit named Jake. Her website is www.darlenepcampos.com. You can support her work here.

BY DARLENE P. CAMPOS

​I did a terrible thing recently. 

 Tropical Storm Imelda hit Houston on September 19th and two days prior, I went to a grocery store to stock up on necessities just in case of a flood (Hurricane Harvey memories, y’all). The minute I got home, I put my groceries away and hopped on my computer to sign paperwork for a side gig I got with an education company. The gig involves writing short stories, so I was excited to sign the official documents.  

But when I opened my inbox to fetch the paperwork files, I had a new email. My contract with Vital Narrative Press is fulfilled with the release of Heaven Isn’t Me, so I’ve been sending my fourth novel to various agents and publishing houses to acquire a new contract since February 1st of this year. This email was from an agent I believed to be the one. This agent praised my manuscript from the first day we interacted. This agent absolutely loved my sample pages, asked for more pages, and eventually asked for the entire book because she enjoyed the characters so much.

However, this email was a rejection. And if that wasn’t a blow enough, I received two additional rejections as well—a total of 66 so far. 

I ran upstairs, grabbed the printed copy of my manuscript, tossed it in my bathtub, immersed it in water, and when it was softened enough, I tore the pages to shreds. I tore until the book resembled confetti. I tossed the pieces into a big trash bag. Minutes later, I sat on my bed and sobbed.

While I ultimately did sign the paperwork for my new side gig, I didn’t that evening. I thought the senior editor made a huge mistake in hiring me. My mind raced with several thoughts: 

Why would they want my work?

Why would they want to pay me for my work?

I’m not a writer. 

I’m someone pretending to be a writer.

66 people in the world think I’m terrible. 66. 

First thing tomorrow, I’m emailing the senior editor and I’ll tell her I’m not qualified for the job. 

While I do extensive research for all my novels, this novel was different. It’s based off true accounts from interviews I conducted with people who witnessed the events which take place in the story. I traveled to Washington D.C. to research for several hours in a museum’s archives. I also saved over a thousand resources onto a flash drive and spent more hours going through the resources when I got home. I read dozens of personal histories from people who passed away. This novel is different because it involves amazing accounts of people I grew close to and with the stack of rejections, all I could think was I failed everyone.

My husband came home from work half an hour later. He asked me what was wrong, and I told him everything, including what I had done to my manuscript. I had thrown the book away earlier this year, but that time, my husband found it in the trash and bought it back in the house despite my protests. 

This time, the book was destroyed. 

My husband dried my tears with his hands, hugged me, and whispered, “It’s okay, I have an electronic copy of your book saved on my laptop. Don’t give up.”

“I’ve done a lot of stupid things in my life,” I told him. “Writing this book and thinking I could have success with it was the stupidest thing I’ve ever thought and done.” 

“It wasn’t stupid,” he said and kissed my forehead. “Think of all the people you met, all the cool things you saw at the museum, all the personal stories you read – you were so happy when you wrote this book. Remember those classmates in your writing classes who told you you’d never make it? Don’t let them win.”

Simple words.

Don’t let them win.

As of September 1st, I’ve contacted a total of 80. I have 14 left to hear from. But I haven’t contacted any other agents or publishing houses since the incident.

Maybe #81 will be the magic number.

Maybe #82.

Maybe #203.

Maybe #451.

I won’t let them win. I won’t let my self-doubt win. I won’t let my imposter syndrome win. And that goes for you, too. Remember those who told you couldn’t and whatever you do, don’t let them win. They think they can win the fight.

But you’re stronger. 

You’re talented.

You’re tough. 

When you want to quit, take a deep breath and go find your magic number. 

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Darlene P. Campos earned her MFA in Creative Writing from the University of Texas at El Paso. She also graduated from the University of Houston with a BA in English-Creative Writing and a minor in medicine and Social Studies. She is from Guayaquil, Ecuador, but currently lives in Houston, TX with her husband David and an adorable pet rabbit named Jake. Her website is www.darlenepcampos.com. You can support her work here.

BY P. CURRY

Last year, we created a series of in-house interviews called Authors Interviewing Authors, where our roster traded conversations in an attempt to get to know one another as well as provide some intimate insights into the life of a fellow writer. This year, we expanded on our series, aptly renaming it Writers Asking Writers Questions and turned it into a recurring series involving established authors as well as new, unpublished writers.

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P. Curry: So first things first, tell me a little bit about your upcoming novel, Heaven Isn’t Me?

Darlene P. Campos: I wrote the first draft in two months, from August to October 2018. Unlike with my two previous novels, I didn’t just rely on my laptop to write the draft – I wrote 85% of the first draft on my phone! Whenever I had a free moment, even if it was just five minutes, I’d whip out my phone and use the Google Docs app to write. Writing on my phone worked wonders in getting this book done quickly. I easily wrote 1,000 words a day using this method.

Heaven Isn’t Me follows fourteen-year-old Elysian Lecaro as she faces a diagnosis with anxiety disorder and tries to solve two mysteries: a) who shot her friends in a recent drive-by shooting and b) who kidnapped Gladys Richardson, her best friend’s older sister?

Were you in any way inspired by your own struggles with anxiety for this project?

Yes, yes, and yes. Elysian and I share some characteristics, though she is much bolder and braver than I am. When I was her age, I had anxious thoughts, but I didn’t realize they weren’t normal until I was older. For example, whenever a school dance came around, I was 100% convinced that if I didn’t find a date, I was destined to be alone for the rest of my life. It sounds ridiculous now (especially since I’ve been married for over a year and I’ve been with my husband for seven years!), but back then, I really believed it.

I had other thoughts like I would fail high school and never graduate, even though I was on honor roll and I ended up graduating a year early because I was so ahead in my studies. I remember my friends telling me, “Darlene, we love you, but sometimes you worry too much.” And they were right. So, in my first semester of college, I talked to a counselor and after several weeks of sessions, she told me I had anxiety, but not to fear since there were ways to address these irrational thoughts of the future, such as thinking of all the good outcomes of an issue first.

Because of my experience with anxiety as a teen, I knew I had to write a book with a character like Elysian to show teens of today that there is hope and healing for them. There is a lot of pressure on teens as they grow up. They’re trying to make good grades, they have crushes, they want to fit in, they’re getting ready for the next steps of their lives – so of course they’re going to worry about themselves and their future. They are not alone and they don’t have to feel ashamed of their anxious thoughts.

Mind sharing who and/or what some of your influences are?

Oscar Wilde, Sandra Cisneros, Barbara Kingsolver, Rebecca Brown, Lorrie Moore, Edgar Allan Poe, Langston Hughes, Maya Angelou, John Green, ZZ Packer, Tennessee Williams, Elizabeth McCracken, RJ Palacio, Stuart Dybek, Jeannette Walls, and Carrie Fountain. There are others I’m likely forgetting. I went on vacation with my husband to Washington D.C. in June and we drove about an hour away to Baltimore where we visited Edgar Allan Poe’s house. His house is VERY small and the stairwells are so narrow, I’m surprised I was able to climb the steps. At the top of the house, there’s an even narrower stairwell that leads to Poe’s bedroom which includes his quill pen and his writing desk. I cried the second when I saw these items – I couldn’t believe I was looking at the exact spot where Poe wrote his legendary works. The moment felt like a pilgrimage. While Poe is known for his horror stories, I’m a huge fan of his poetry. Poe’s poem “For Annie” is one of my favorite poems ever.  

Likewise, I went on a weekend trip to San Antonio a few years ago and stayed in the historical (and supposedly haunted) Menger Hotel. Oscar Wilde stayed there back in 1882. The Menger has a special plaque with his name on the door of the room where he slept during his stay. The room is available for booking, but last time I checked, it was $300 a night. Anyway, right before I checked out of my room, I found his room and took a selfie with the plaque. I didn’t experience anything paranormal at the Menger, but I seriously hoped Oscar Wilde’s ghost would visit me so I could ask him for writing advice. Unfortunately, he didn’t haunt me.

I’ve noticed that you’ve been doing extensive research on the Holocaust and Jewish history and culture. Are you applying this knowledge to a future work?

Yes, but since I’m currently sending this manuscript out to agents and publishing houses, I don’t want to say too much about it.

It’s based on true accounts from Holocaust survivors I interviewed plus accounts I learned from the children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren of other Holocaust survivors I couldn’t interview since they have passed away. I used the accounts along with my own fiction-thinking brain to create this novel.

That’s all I will say for now.

Any other ideas you have in mind for future works?

I’m revising my fifth novel right now, which I also wrote in two months (April to June of this year) by writing most of it on my phone. It’s about a fifteen-year-old boy named Matthew who wants to be a doctor, but since his mother doesn’t earn much money, he’s busting himself to get a good scholarship. He can sing well, and his friends tell him about a singing scholarship, which is great, except he has horrible stage fright AND he needs to write his own song for his audition, which isn’t his strength. Will Matthew finally get a scholarship for his medical school fund? Will he bomb his audition? Will he audition at all? Who knows? 

The title right now is Matthew The Riot, but is subject to change. Fun fact: it’s also a semi-sequel of my fourth novel.

I find it admirable how you always do such extensive research on whatever it is you’re writing about, especially in regards to different cultures. What motivates you to always be so in-depth with your research?

Simple—I LOVE to dive right into my research. I can read a thousand books, watch a thousand videos, and interview a thousand people, but it is not the same as experiencing what I’m researching. When I was writing my second novel, Summer Camp is Cancelled, the protagonist, Lyndon, is Catholic and I knew close to nothing about Catholicism. So, I went to Mass several times, learned prayers, songs, and talked to priests. I read books and watched documentaries and other informative videos (shout out to Father Mike on the Ascension Presents YouTube channel!). I also interviewed over forty practicing Catholics, but the best part about learning was being present in Mass, because I experienced Catholicism firsthand. I even went to a two-hour long Christmas Midnight Mass because Lyndon attends a Christmas Midnight Mass in the novel.

Additionally, Summer Camp Is Cancelled has a character named Melody and she is deaf, and Lyndon’s father is deaf in one ear (just like my father). I interviewed people who are deaf to shape these characters and I read books and watched videos, too, but I also spent days with earplugs on to experience the silence. For Lyndon’s father, I spent days with one earplug. By diving into my research, I feel that I can properly capture who my characters are without making them seem like stereotypes or unrealistic. I worry about improperly representing characters outside of my own realm, which is why I want to be as accurate as possible so I do not hurt anyone’s feelings with misrepresentation.

What are some of your long-term career goals?

My ultimate dream is to earn enough money to give to charity and those who need my help without having to think twice about it. Ever hear about those anonymous millionaires who donate tons of money to nonprofits? I want to be one of those millionaires. Need surgery? I’ll write you a check, so you won’t have medical debt. You need your car repaired? Here’s $25,000 for you to buy a new car. Homeless animals at the local shelter need food? Here’s $50,000, get them dessert, too.

Okay, I’m getting carried away by my dreams, but wouldn’t that life be the best?

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Would you be open to a film or TV adaptation of one your books in the future?

Of course! But they have to let me write the screenplay. If not, the deal is off.

Let’s say, you were banned from writing! What path would you take from there?

If I didn’t write, I’m not sure what I would do with my time. The longest I can go without writing is a few weeks and then I feel the withdrawal and get back into it. So, if I were banned from writing, I would write anyway, even if it could get me arrested. Then I’d write in prison, too.

Photography is another passion of mine, but it’s nowhere to close to writing. I also love to box and swim for exercise. I would easily give up my camera, punching bag and boxing gloves, and all my swim gear rather than my pen and paper.

Since you aren’t actually banned from writing, is there anything else you’d like to do with your craft besides penning novels?

I wish I could do something different, but novels are my specialty. I have had poems published in various literary journals in the past, but I can tell you with full certainty that I am not a poet.

I also wish I could write songs. My great-grandfather, Alcides Martinez, was a musician, songwriter, and a poet. He wrote songs which are still covered by Ecuadorian artists today. However, I sadly did not inherit his abilities. Novels are it for me.

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Darlene P. Campos earned her MFA in Creative Writing from the University of Texas at El Paso. She also graduated from the University of Houston with a BA in English-Creative Writing and a minor in medicine and Social Studies. She is from Guayaquil, Ecuador, but currently lives in Houston, TX with her husband David and an adorable pet rabbit named Jake. Her website is www.darlenepcampos.com. You can support her work here.

BY GREGORY HEDGEPETH

Writers are notorious for having mental health issues, most likely because we’re always in our own heads, constantly obsessing over the worlds, characters and scenarios we have created. Here at Vital Narrative, we are no different as a number of us advocate for and suffer with our own mental health issues, myself included.

As Mental Health Awareness Month comes to a close, I felt it was important to share my experience reading Heaven Isn’t Me, the third novel from Darlene P. Campos. After completing my first read, I couldn’t deny how at ease I felt. There was such a calm in my spirit, because I felt seen and understood. In fact, it felt like she wrote it specifically for me. The story revolves around a 14-year-old girl named Elysian who discovers she is suffering with anxiety. The most poignant part of the narrative deals with the many stigmas surrounding mental health diseases in the form of Elysian’s family, who perceive it to be “all in her head.”

“I started to read the anxiety pamphlets. They said the condition was common and it wasn’t anything to feel ashamed about at all. The typical symptoms were worrying, panic attacks, endless fears, trouble sleeping, and a lot more. t wasn’t me being weird. None of the emotions or attacks were my fault. It was anxiety. I had finally found the answer to what was wrong with me, and for some reason, knowing the answer made me feel normal. ”

— Elysian Lecaro, HEAVEN ISN'T ME

I was about 25 before I began to discuss my mental health issues openly, and since then, I’ve been a champion of others revealing theirs, because I see the impact and empowerment that comes with realizing you aren’t alone. These afflictions convince us that there’s no one else struggling with the same thing, even though we know it isn’t true. That’s why it’s important that we stay vigilant about treating these issues, but also help rid the world of the stigmas that come with them. 

Darlene’s novel is going to save a lot of lives. When you consider that even though anxiety and depression are treatable, but 80 percent of kids with a diagnosable anxiety disorder and 60 percent of kids with diagnosable depression are not getting treatment (according to the 2015 Child Mind Institute Children’s Mental Health Report), it becomes clear that this novel could serve as the caveat that drives teenagers and adolescents to seek treatment and not fear that which ails them. Despite the fact that the dialogue about mental health is finally coming to the forefront of mainstream media, we must remain attentive and sympathetic to the needs of those currently dealing with these illnesses.

When I asked Darlene about what led her to craft this novel, she said:

“Around the time I started thinking of an idea for my third novel, I was having the worst panic attacks, depression, and anxiety episodes of my entire life. I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression when I was 19 or 20, but as a younger adult, I noticed I would worry about almost everything and I would catastrophize all the time like ‘If I don’t find a date to the dance, I’m going to die alone,’ etc. So, I knew I needed to write the book I needed when I was younger. HEAVEN ISN’T ME is fiction, but there are real-life scenes sprinkled throughout, especially Elysian’s anxiety attacks. Those are the same attacks I had when I was her age. My mission with this novel is to let young people know that it’s okay to seek professional help.”

— Darlene P. Campos

If I had come across these words as an adolescent, life would’ve been so much easier to navigate and I wouldn’t have spent so many years trying to hide myself and my affliction. Words can’t express how grateful I am for Darlene and her novel, which I’m sure will help ease the minds of us who feel alone, different or flawed as we cope with anxiety, depression, PTSD, ADHD, substance abuse and the plethora of disorders stemming from mental health illnesses. I’m proud to say Heaven Isn’t Me will release through Vital Narrative Press later this year.

Take a sneak peek at part of the cover below.

To my fellow mental health sufferers, continue to stay strong and seek help when you need to. If you are a young person in need of mental health resources, visit the Society for Adolescent Health and Medicine.

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Gregory Hedgepeth is the editor-in-chief of Vital Narrative Press. You can follow him on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter. Feel free to follow on all three. Or maybe just two. Yeah, two’s probably good — he’s not that interesting. Gregory Hedgepeth is also the author of MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT SUNRISES, THE YEAR THAT ANSWERED and A COLLECTION OF ECHOES. BUY THAT SHIT.

BY DARLENE P. CAMPOS

Last year, we created a series of in-house interviews called Authors Interviewing Authors, where our roster traded conversations in an attempt to get to know one another as well as provide some intimate insights into the life of a fellow writer. This year, we expanded on our series, aptly renaming it Writers Asking Writers Questions and turned it into a recurring series involving established authors as well as new, unpublished writers.

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Darlene P. Campos: You have a book that's about to be released - what emotions are you feeling?

P. Curry: A wide range of them. Part of it is sheer disbelief; I really can’t believe this is finally happening. I’m also feeling a bit overwhelmed as now that I’m about to be published, I’m really not sure how to go about actually pushing and marketing my book. I even have a few questions in the back of my mind that are scaring me. Like….is this thing going to crash and burn? Is it even ready yet? Will people love it? Will people hate it? Could it become a bestseller? Could it be “discovered” and turned into a worldwide phenomenon? There really is no way to know.

Going beyond all of that, I am very happy and excited. For years I’ve been telling people I’m a writer but up until now haven’t really had anything to show for it. It truly means the world to me to finally have a book on the way. I know I still have a long way to go before I get to the point I wanna be at in my writing career, but this is a definite step in the right direction that I feel will open many doors of opportunity for me.

P. Curry.
Calliope of Atalan: The American Dream.
November 23.

— Vital Narrative (@VitalNarrative) October 4, 2018

If you were hungry and couldn't cook for yourself, which character in your new book would make the best chef? 

Well, this is random, but it would likely be Demeter. One major element of this character is how she loves cooking. In particular, her cooking is everything to her. She stands at the stove with a smile, concealing the turmoil which goes on within. I suggest you read my book if you wish to know the whole story behind that. Just saying.

When did you know you wanted to be a writer? 

You know, I’ve attempted many different things. Cooking. Art. Photography. Graphic Design. Barbering. And a few others. Now, mind you, I did and still do enjoy all of these things, but only as hobbies. I’ve briefly worked in all of these fields and it was like, the minute it became a job, I either lost interest or realized I just wasn’t cut out for it. And yet, the whole time I was doing all of that, writing showed itself to be my true talent time and time again.

 That being said, foolishly enough, it was a talent which I ignored for the longest time. Going all the way back to elementary school, teachers, family members and various others would shower me with praise over my writing and I just shrugged it off each time. In particular, I remember one English teacher in high school who routinely pushed me to get into poetry competitions, join fiction writing programs and even recommended me for a summer writing course with a prestigious author (I can’t remember who it was). Each time he asked, I just said no thanks. And yes, I now HIGHLY regret blowing all of that off.

 I continued to be “eh” about writing until my second year of college. This was when two very pivotal incidents happened. The first was when I walked in late to my U.S. History class towards the end of the semester, only for the professor to be all “Well there he is!” It was then everyone cheered for me and upon asking what happened, she proceeds to tell me that, in her thirty-plus years of teaching, my final essay was the best paper she had ever read. The second was when another teacher accused me of plagiarizing my paper. I was called into the English Department and everything just so she and the department head could check over my sources to make sure I didn’t copy anything, only for the two of them to be stunned when they saw I didn’t plagiarize a single thing. Suffice to say, it was then when I finally realized I should probably take the writing thing more seriously.

What's your usual writing routine like?

I’m not sure I could say I have one. At least not a healthy one. Beyond being my profession of choice (even though it’s not paying the bills yet), writing is also my escape. Given that my day job is in a field that’s not at all related to writing, at the end of each day, I’m pretty much hyperventilating over the fact that I’ve spent my entire day not writing. So the minute I get home I immediately get on my computer and start typing my fingers off.

Granted, I’ll admit this may have had something to do with pressure. After all, I was really eager to get either Calliope of Atalan or something else I was working on published and/or noticed. I may develop a healthier routine now that I don’t have that dark cloud hanging over my head. In particular, I greatly enjoy spending time at cafes. Something about coffee, music and a baked treat really gets my creative juices flowing.

If you could go on a writer's retreat with any author, who would it be?

There’s quite a few actually. Harry Potter is one of my all-time favorites as well as having some influence on Calliope of Atalan so of course I’d love to spend time J.K. Rowling. Another book I drew inspiration from was Akata Witch, so Nnedi Okorafor would be another choice.

Let's talk movies! Who is your favorite screenwriter and why?

You know, this is a bit of a tough one for me to answer given that when it comes to movies, who’s acting, who’s directing and/or who’s producing all take priority to me over who’s writing. The writing process for a film or TV show is much different than it is for a novel. With a book, the writer is also the actor, the director and the producer. It’s up to them to tell the story, give a convincing performance, create the image and keep the idea and presentation of it under control.

With film and television, the writer only has to tell the story. Not to say this makes them less important of course, but there’s a distinct difference. I’ve seen numerous films and shows which had a good story that was ruined by terrible acting, cinematography and/or production. On the other side of that coin, there’s also a lot of films and shows out there with horrible stories but the acting, cinematography and/or production are fantastic enough to mislead the audience into thinking it’s a good story.

I still have a lot of admiration for screenwriters, so I’m in no way trying to speak down on them here, but I feel that when it comes to good screenwriting, the actors, directors and producers are just as important in bringing that vision to life. After all, if Calliope of Atalan were ever to be adapted into a movie and/or television series one day, I wouldn’t want just anyone to direct, produce and/or act in it.

If you had the chance to write an episode for any TV show, past or current, which show would it be?

I would love to write an episode of Black Mirror. I really gravitated towards that series in particular because I frequently find myself feeling disturbed and/or uncomfortable with a lot of modern technological advancement, so it’s good to know I’m not at all alone there. One recent digital innovation I’ve felt particularly disturbed with is the whole “Alexa” thing, so if I was given an offer to write a script for a horrific satire of that item, I’d jump on it in a second.

Are any of your characters based on real people?

Yes, quite a few of them actually. I have a lot of experience with women who have been through a lot in life and yet resort to taking out their anger and depression on others; Demeter in particular draws influence from that. Upon rereading and revising, I noticed that I subconsciously drew from my own high school experience when writing a lot of the teenaged characters that Calliope interacts with throughout the novel, and I’m not sure if I can say that’s a good thing or not. Pan is essentially a walking satire of patriarchy and toxic masculinity, especially in the black community, so I know more than a few individuals who are just like him. Brutus on the other hand is a combination of just about every fuckboy type I’ve ever met in my life.

What's a goal you hope to attain in your writing career?

I have a long list of goals, but one of the most important ones is to have some sort of impact, especially in regards to representation. As a minority myself, I’ve grown quite tired of being limited to certain outlets in order to see faces that look like mine. I’ve always been drawn to works that fall under the umbrella of speculative fiction, and until very recently it was quite rare to have well-rounded, three-dimensional and sufficiently humanized depictions of not only black people, but also non-black POC, members of the LGBTQ+ community, religious minorities, people with disabilities, people of size and neurodivergent individuals as well in such works. And really just in general.

In recent years, we have been moving in the right direction. In the arenas of fantasy, science fiction, superhero/comic-related material, horror, supernatural, alternate history and what have you, I’ve seen a marked improvement across the board. But there’s always work to do. I want to be a soldier in this revolution.

Do you have any advice for unpublished writers?

Honestly, start small. To elaborate, I began work on Calliope of Atalan: The American Dream in 2014. Very early in the process, I would momentarily post excerpts of it on my old Tumblr, and managed to come in contact with Greg and the Vital Narrative through sheer dumb luck. He liked what he saw, words were exchanged, and I was signed to the roster the next day.

Now, personally, I think I just got VERY lucky here. I had no idea what I was doing, and had I never spoken with Greg, I’m pretty sure that the moment I finished my first draft I would have just naively submitted the manuscript to Penguin or something, only to give up after getting my rejection letter, even though I already knew full well they only publish like five percent of the books submitted to them.

Instead, I was found by an independent publisher who liked what he saw and was willing to give me a chance. The editing and revision of my novel was a long and arduous process that lasted for nearly three years, but after all this time I can honestly say it was worth it. Had I sent my novel to a major publisher, they likely wouldn’t have said a thing about why it was rejected. Greg and Sacha both took the time to painstakingly review it so I would know exactly what to fix. I ended up actually learning even more about writing in the process. Even if it may take some more time for me to reach a wider audience, I am truly thankful for this experience and to be apart of this team.

Long story short, don’t sleep on the independent and small-name publishers. With Vital Narrative, I found a team that was more than willing to thoroughly and personably work with me on my project. Much better than having to deal with a team of editors from afar who would either reject me without a word and/or drastically change things in my work without my consent. Besides, just being published alone is valuable experience, even if you don’t become J.K. Rowling overnight.

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Darlene P. Campos earned her MFA in Creative Writing from the University of Texas at El Paso. She also graduated from the University of Houston with a BA in English-Creative Writing and a minor in medicine and Social Studies. She is from Guayaquil, Ecuador, but currently lives in Houston, TX with her husband David and an adorable pet rabbit named Jake. Her website is www.darlenepcampos.com. You can support her work here.