But Then We Would Both Be Wrong
BY GREGORY HEDGEPETH
We sped towards the expressway as quickly as the car would take us. Simp and I had just hit a lick at a spot out in Gigglemug. Twilight covered the city, but darkness was fast approaching. “Ay man, pull into Butter’s real quick,” Simp said as we headed near the bright yellow building. “I’ma get me an OG before we head back to The Wealth.”
I shook my head. “I’ll never understand you fish sandwich niggas.”
“Ay, you don’t know what you’re missing. That OG is super official.”
I rolled my eyes and pulled up to the drive thru. “I’d agree with you, but—”
“Go ‘head!” screeched the voice from the other side of the speaker.
“Yeah, let me get an OG Combo—“
“With extra sauce!” Simp yelled from the passenger seat. “I want it on the sandwich and on the side.”
“That’s it?” the voice screeched again.
“With an orange shake!”
“Fourteen ninety. Drive around.”
I shook my head and put the car in motion. “Fifteen dollars for some shit you can snatch out the river.”
“Well, go snatch it then, nigga,” he replied with a smirk, fishing into his pockets for cash.
“You the one eating that shit, not me.”
“Man, whatever. We just came up on a few dollars and you already back to bitching before we can even get down the expressway.”
“I’m bitching because we just risked life and limb for nothing.”
“Nigga, we didn’t even have to pull the straps out—what you talking about ‘life and limb’?”
“It’s always life and limb when we step into Gigglemug. You know that, fool.” He gave me a stern look which I returned, just as the slim brought his food to the window.
I handed over the food and began to drive off. “Hold up, nigga! I need to make sure my sauce in here or I’m a cut a fool.” I rolled my eyes as he began to rifle through the bag. When he seemed satisfied with the contents, I skated away from the window and made my way to the expressway.
Fifteen minutes later, we pulled up at Honcho’s crib and hopped out to slide inside for the hand-off. When we walked in, he was sitting at the kitchen table with his girl Tiffany, sharing a laugh. “Well, if it ain’t the goddamn Wonder Twins! How’s my favorite tag team?”
“Honcho!” Simp let out, giving him a pound as I simply nodded.
“Y’all got that work for me?” he asked.
“Wasn’t no work in there, bruh. Your intel was trash as fuck. It was a measly five hundred dollars inside that safe.”
The good humor melted from Honcho’s face as Tiffany took the opportunity to escape the kitchen, leaving the three of us alone. “Hey babe, I’ma go ahead to the salon and get my nails done real quick. After that, I’m going to drop off Babygirl at Mom’s and then I’m coming right back. Be here when I get back, alright?”
“I’m not going anywhere today, baby. I promise,” he said calmly. He gave her a pat on the ass as she walked by and watched her saunter to the door, refusing to turn back to us until she was outside. “Y’all been gone that long and that’s all you managed to get?” Honcho yelled, finally standing from his chair. “You didn’t even see the file?”
“Yeah, it’s right here,” Simp said tossing a USB drive in the air. “Man, I just knew we was gonna have steak this week. That’s barely gas money.”
“I can’t believe there wasn’t more cash in that safe.”
“Shit, tell me about it,” I said with a roll of the eye. “We thought this was a come up. It took me almost twelve minutes to drill into that safe. You think we wasn’t pissed when we found out what was inside?”
Honcho slumped down in his seat, looking at Simp with disgust. “And you got the nerve to come in here with a goddamn fish sandwich, spilling sauce all over my table.”
“A nigga gotta eat. I was starving after that shit.”
“Fuck, man!” I said, growing angrier by the minute. “Your niggas ain’t never got good information these days, Honcho. Why the fuck would someone have a safe like that with no cash inside? Nobody in Gigglemug keeps their money in banks these days, so where’s the loot if not inside the safe?”
“Who knows? They’re all so paranoid, they probably have two or three safes around the crib,” Honcho said, shaking his head. “Nobody out there trusts anyone anymore. I keep telling you them white folks are crazy.”
“You think we don’t know that?” Simp returned, spilling sauce down his shirt.
“You eat like a goddamn dog, you know that?” Honcho said, continuing to sulk as Simp moved his seat closer to the table and continued to dig into his food.
“So what’s next?” I asked. Honcho looked like he was turning over something in his mind, but didn’t let on as to what. “Look we gotta do something. That shit took me two weeks to plan! Five days plotting on that damn gate code alone. Fuck, man! Shit can’t never go right.” I did everything I could to quell my frustration, pulling up a seat at the table. I let out an exasperated sigh and pulled fifty dollars from the stash, sliding it across the table to Honcho to settle up on his finder’s fee. He looked at me as if he were agitated by it more than anything. Simp’s munching seemed to grow even louder as we sat in silence. “I guess we out then. Hit us up if you come up on some real work. I can’t feed myself with promises about returns on investment on some goddamn files. It needs to be gold bars or cash, or shit, even diamonds—something I can move, Honcho! I knew we should’ve taken some of that loot. Them niggas had all kinds of jewelry just sitting out, waiting to be copped. But you said...”
“Look, they have a very sophisticated security system. You said yourself it took a long time for you to crack the safe. The alarm can only be disabled for so long. You wouldn’t have had time for a snatch-and-grab too.”
“Shit, it would’ve been worth the risk. At least I wouldn’t be fishing this weekend.”
“I hear you,” Honcho said, looking disappointed. “Look, I’ll try and get you guys something solid by next week, okay?”
“Aight man, take it easy,” I said, looking just as solemn and rising from my seat. “Come on Simp—let’s get outta here.”
“Damn, a nigga can’t finish eating?”
“No! Bring your ass!” I snarled, heading outside. He grabbed his bag, still continuing to munch his sandwich every step of the way. Once outside, I hopped in the car and he slumped into the passenger seat.
“Aw shit, hold on... I forgot my sauce on the table.”
“Simp, you gotta be fucking me.”
“It’ll just be a minute. Damn, you act like you got somewhere to be. We got plenty of time for you to sit at home and be mad about some shit not going your way.”
“You should be mad too! Everybody doesn’t want to eat fish everyday like you.”
“Whatever, nigga. The universe always provides.”
“Clearly it doesn’t provide enough since you got me waiting on your ass for some goddamn sauce. Hurry up, fool. I ain’t got all night.” He hopped out and went back inside as I grew more and more irritated at another lick gone wrong. Investing my reppies in Honcho’s get-rich-quick schemes had seemed smart five years ago, but we still hadn’t seen a payday over ten grand yet. He kept promising a big return, but I was starting to grow restless. I checked my watch, wondering what was taking Simp so long. I hit his cell, but he didn’t answer. I uttered another irritated sigh and hopped back outta the car, ready to cuss his ass out for taking so long. I made my way inside and was surprised by the sight of Simp with his gun pointed at Honcho’s face. “Yo, what the fuck?”
“He’s been cutting us out, brudda.”
“Don’t listen to—“
“He’s a fucking liar, G! He’s got a whole deep freezer full of cash.”
My eyes met Honcho’s, who had tears steaming down his face and looked as if he had been pleading for his life. “What are you talking about? Honcho lives three blocks from us. Why the fuck would he live here if—“
“Go look in the freezer,” Simp said, looking serious for the first time all day. I swallowed hard and studied Honcho’s face again. He looked more shook than I’d ever seen him.
“Simp—“
“Go look goddamit!”
I walked over to the freezer and pulled against the handle, but the door didn’t budge. I continued to pull again and again until I noticed a small silver lock near the handle. I’d been inside Honcho’s kitchen a million times, but never paid it any attention. I pulled back the silver flap covering the lock and a small keypad was revealed inside. “I guess I need a code or something.”
“What’s the code!” Simp barked.
Honcho sniffled and kept his hands in the air. “Come on, man...”
Simp cocked the hammer. “I’m not going to ask again.”
Honcho sighed. “0-323-20-18,” he said simply.
I punched in the code and pulled on the handle. This time, the door gave way, and when I looked inside, I couldn’t believe my eyes. “Yo, Honcho... what the fuck, man? You got all this? Wait... but... this just doesn’t make any sense. I mean, how—“ Suddenly, the realization hit me like a ton of bricks. “You’ve been making money off those files, haven’t you?” He swallowed hard but didn’t answer. I shook my head in disgust. “You dirty motherfucker.”
“Guys, listen... this was just the first deposit, okay? There’s two more that come in right after I get the return on this one,” he squealed, holding up the USB. “That money is all yours. I swear to God, man.”
“He’s fucking playing us!” Simp yelled. “We haven’t had a decent score since we handed over our mules. Meanwhile, this asshole been sitting on a pile of money like he Scrooge McDuck the whole time.”
“Y’all don’t understand, man. I got a wife and a daughter and... look, I just wanted to make sure they’re okay if anything ever happens to me. It’s not like I was trying to cut you out, okay? I just...”
“You just... what, Honcho? Man, we trusted you. How the fuck you gonna play us out like that?”
“I just told you...”
“Man, that’s bullshit and you know it! You’ve been sending us on wild goose chases, so you can take whatever’s on those files. This whole time you been convincing us they were worthless. Now, I see why you only wanted ten percent of what we found. You knew there wasn’t any cash in those safes.”
“Look... okay—just... just look... I made a bad call, okay? I saw an opportunity and I just took it. But look where we are... don’t you see how hard it is to get outta here? It’s damn near impossible when it’s just one person, but I gotta pay for three tickets if we’re ever going to make it to Effervesce.” Simp looked him up and down while I tried my best to remain calm and patient at his explanation. Even if he had a family, me and Simp had to eat too. Especially since we were doing all the work. “I couldn’t sell the files to anyone at first. The black market for personal information just isn’t the same game it was when we first started. But a few weeks ago after the Brathwaite job, I met a guy. And he bought up all the inventory we had. And told me he would be willing to pay even more as long as we kept finding info for him. That’s why I had you do this job tonight. This is your big score. He’s willing to pay almost twice your reppies and then some.”
“So if a big score is coming, why were you acting all pissed when we told you it was just five hundred in the safe? Why didn’t you tell us about it then?” I asked, studying him carefully and waiting for him to slip up. He opened his mouth to speak, but ultimately said nothing.
“See! I told you he was fucking lying!” Simp yelled out.
Honcho sighed and put his hands down at his sides before bursting into tears. “Man, don’t y’all get it? Don’t you know most people only get one shot to leave this place? I can’t have my little girl growing up here, thinking this is how she’s supposed to live. Look, I saw a shot and I took it. And I know y’all are pissed... but I’m telling you, we have a lot of big scores coming up. This dude is paying top-notch. Hell, we could all get outta here! We just gotta take this chance, you feel me? Because no one is going to fucking give it to us—“ A shot rang out and suddenly he began to stagger back and forth. I looked over and saw the smoke emanating from Simp’s barrel.
“Yo, Simp... what the fuck!” I yelled out. The sight of seeing our friend with bullet holes in his chest seemed surreal, even if he was fucking us over. Shit, we’d known him since we were kids. I ran over to Honcho just as his legs gave out and he collapsed to the floor. “I can’t... I can’t believe you just did that.”
“He deserved it. Motherfucker was cutting us out! Now, we can take all the money he was about to get and keep it for ourselves.”
“We don’t even know the connect, fool! Now we ain’t never going to come up. Plus, Tiffany saw us—she’s going to know we pulled this shit. Goddamn, Simp! Don’t you ever think?”
Simp lowered his gun and ran over to the freezer, grabbing up all the money he could carry. “Nigga, fuck a connect—you heard what big homie said: you only get one shot, right? Ain’t you tired of eating fish everyday? Plus, they only need two tickets now. We’re doing them a favor.”
He made his way out the door as I sat there, staring at Honcho beginning to bleed out. His eyes stared up at me and I could see he was still struggling to breathe. I shook my head and cursed myself, wishing it didn’t have to end this way. I jumped up and ran to the freezer, grabbing up as much as I could hold and joined Simp at the car. He jumped in the passenger’s side just as I hopped inside and hit the gas, speeding as quickly towards the expressway as the car would take us.
Gregory Hedgepeth is the editor-in-chief of Vital Narrative Press. You can follow him on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter. Feel free to follow on all three. Or maybe just two. Yeah, two’s probably good—he’s not that interesting. Gregory Hedgepeth is also the author of MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT SUNRISES, THE YEAR THAT ANSWERED and A COLLECTION OF ECHOES. BUY THAT SHIT.